Supporting someone with MS

  • MSNZ
  • Supporting someone with MS
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Supporting a person with multiple sclerosis (MS) means being present, understanding, and adaptable. MS is unpredictable, and the support you offer can make a real difference in your loved one’s quality of life. Here are some practical ways to help and resources to guide you.

How to Support Someone with MS

  • Listen and Be Present:

    • Sometimes, the best support is simply being there to listen. Let your loved one express their feelings and concerns without judgment or unsolicited advice.
    • Being present—whether it’s attending appointments, joining activities, or just spending time together—can provide comfort and reassurance.
  • Believe and Validate:

    • MS symptoms can be invisible and unpredictable. Believe what your loved one tells you about their experience, and avoid dismissing or downplaying their symptoms.
    • Phrases like “But you look so good!” can feel invalidating. Instead, offer empathy and understanding.
  • Offer Practical Help:

    • MS can make everyday tasks challenging. Offer specific help—such as running errands, cooking a meal, or giving a ride—rather than waiting to be asked.
    • Respect their independence, but let them know you are there when needed.
  • Learn About MS

    • Educate yourself about MS to better understand what your loved one is going through. This can help you provide more meaningful support and reduce misunderstandings.
    • Resources like MSNZ’s info sheets, guides, and webinars are available to help you learn more.
  • Be Patient and Flexible:

    • Plans may need to change at short notice due to fatigue or other symptoms. Be understanding if your loved one needs to cancel or reschedule.
    • Give them grace and space when they need it, especially if they are experiencing a relapse or increased fatigue.
  • Encourage Self-Care:

    • Remind your loved one to look after their own well-being, and encourage them to seek support from health professionals or support groups if needed.
  • Support Mental and Emotional Well-being:

    • MS can affect mood and mental health. Encourage open conversations, and support your loved one to seek professional help if needed.
    • Support groups and counselling can be valuable for both the person with MS and their supporters.

Tips for Whānau and Close Friends

  • Open Communication:

    • Talk openly about feelings, concerns, and expectations. Encourage honest conversations about how MS is affecting your relationship and daily life.
  • Seek Support:

    • Consider speaking with a counsellor or social worker if you are worried about the impact of MS on your relationship or family dynamics.
  • Take Time for Yourself:

    • Supporting someone with MS can be demanding. Make sure you take time to rest, recharge, and look after your own needs.

Resources for Supporters

  • MSNZ Info Sheets and Guides:

      • MSNZ offers a range of resources specifically for friends and whānau, including practical advice and strategies for supporting someone with MS.
  • Support Groups:

    • Joining a support group—either in person or online—can provide valuable advice and shared experiences from others in similar situations.
  • Webinars and Online Learning:

    • MSNZ and regional societies host webinars and events to help friends and whānau learn more about MS and how to provide effective support.

Why Your Support Matters

Your support helps people with MS feel valued, understood, and less alone. By staying informed, being patient, and offering practical help, you can make a positive difference in their journey with MS.

Family and Carers